


Congratulations

by Veelitann



Series: Beyong the Heart of Outer Space [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: F/M, Loneliness, M/M, POV Quatre, Sad, Wedding, newtype, tenyearslater, trowaisstupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7004593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veelitann/pseuds/Veelitann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>AC 206</b><br/><i>“I’m getting married.”</i><br/>You didn’t know anything. You didn’t know how much this would hurt. You didn't know how I felt.<br/>I remember. I remember those days, lost between fear and loneliness. I remember my heart, trying to synchronize with anyone's heart. I remember you. So, why? Why did you choose to marry her? </p>
<p>[Quatre POV. The most important and happy moment in a man's life can also be the worst time in another man's life.] </p>
            </blockquote>





	Congratulations

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there !  
> It's been a while since the last time I came here, and I know that I have some work to do on my Shingeki no Kyojin fanfictions! But for today, I'm here, back on my old and most powerful love of my life (aka Gundam Wing), and this little, short fanfic is something I wanted to write for a long time now. That's not something amazing like some people would write, plus I've lost a lot of my abilities to write in a proper english, so it might be a little difficult, Sorry! 
> 
> I have not written for quite a moment, plus I have not been writting Gundam Wing fanfictions for years now. But lately, it just became a urge, I missed it so much, I needed it. So here I am, with some short and sad story about our lonely blond pilot. A lot of people don't like Quatre because he's 'so annoying', 'too nice' and all of that. But what if we had to consider a part of him that we always forget, something he hide for dear life? What if, actually, he was just the saddest pilot from the five of them?
> 
> Let me know what you thought, I'd really be happy to have some opinions, as a huge old Gundam Wing fan!

**AC 206**

_“Congrats, man.”_  
  
Those words were the most painful I had ever heard on that day, and let me tell you that I would have never thought this before. I was pretty sure that war had been the most terrible thing, that all those meetings, all those threats, _everything_ actually, had been the ugliest, the most terrible events in a man’s life. In our lives.  
  
I was wrong. I was just _so_ wrong.  
  
On that particular day, you should be happy. I mean, that should be the happiest thing happening to a man, even in a time like this. War was still overwhelming all of us, but still you decided to do it nonetheless.  
  
I didn’t stop you.  
  
I didn’t even try to dissuade you.  
  
Why? Maybe your smile when you announced it. You smiled, and oh, dear, how it was unusual coming from you! It was the first time, actually. When you told me, like some secret, your lips curved into that tiny and shy smile. I immediately knew that I would hate the news. Or rather, I actually already knew what it was about.  
  
“I’m getting married.”  
  
You didn’t know anything. You didn’t know how this would hurt. You didn't know. Most of the time, I hated being a Newtype, I hated hiding my nature, I hated lying to you about who I was, about what I thought, about how I felt.  
  
I wanted to cry, but as a man, I had to refrain myself in front of you. "Boys don't cry," as Duo would have said.  
  
As your friend, I had to nod.  
  
As your _best_ friend, I had to smile to all of this and be glad for you.  
  
As your best man, I had to cheer you up on this special and amazing day.  
  
And today was the day. We’re not fifteen years old anymore. We didn’t meet a few days ago. We aren’t playing music together anymore while waiting for a new mission to start or mechanics to be done with our Gundams. For years, now.  
  
Everyone here was happy. I could feel it. Even if it wasn’t as much as the married couple, they were happy. Happy to see their friends starting something new. Duo was talking so much, even more than usual. He had left his tuxedo jacket for a while now, probably drunk as hell. The ceremony was over for hours, everyone eating and drinking in this huge house Relena had left for this occasion. Heero was still by Relena's side, sometimes checking for Duo in case the man would do something stupid - but I doubted that he would be able to even stand up from his chair for the next hours.  
  
There weren’t so many people. Not hundreds, of course. We were still rebels, or rather rebels _again_. The Preventers didn't last forever; after a few years, the Colonies found out about the secret company. Sometimes, I feel like something happened when we infiltrated the Barton Foundation, almost ten years ago , and at the same time i'm not sure about anything. Traitors or not within Preventers, life still goes on. And at the moment, even the Earth Sphere Unified Nation choose not to recognize us and act as if they never knew about our existence as one of their tools.  
  
They dismissed the organisation _Preventers _and started purchasing us one by one. No matter how helpful we had been for the world, for the Earth, for the Peace, we suddenly were dangerous. Even wishing for a peaceful world wasn't enough. We _knew___ , and it was already too much.  
  
I sighed. All around me, the effervescence was making me quite nauseus. It wasn't my style at all as I was used to such receptions since childhood and even more. I was a Winner heir, after all. The only son, the only one who had to inherit when my father died, years ago from now. I hesitated for so long, before accepting my fate - taking his place at the head of Winner Corporation I mean.  
  
From the corner of the room, I could see Wufei sitting on a chair. The man was as quiet as always, but he didn't let go of the small smile set in the corner of his lips since the begining of the ceremony, hours ago. It was something simple, something discret but present. But I knew that there was something else behind that little smile. The stream of feelings running through my heart and mind were just upside down, no matter how I tried to reject Wufei's train of thoughts. The sorrow that emanated from him was weird and somehow felt like mine. But it was was so different at the same time, more like some bitter nostalgia.  
  
Yeah. It was like that. Cold bitter nostalgia running through _his_ veins, through _my veins_. His intimacy was being violated, as simply as that. By me. And he didn't even know about my presence in his feelings, in his inner heart, so deep that I could see what he was thinking, about _who_ he--  
  
"Quatre! Here you were!"  
  
I almost jumped at the voice, breaking violently the link I was slightly wovening between Wufei's heart and mine. His thoughts immediatly disappeared, the blank filling my mind for a second or two before I could understand what was happening in the real world, before I got taken away by two green rivers. Two deep green rivers that could take me away forever. I wish they had. For real.  
  
I hated my newtype capacities. Especially when there was that flood of sweet happiness trying to climb through my veins when I didn't want. It was making me even sicker. His smile was making it even worse.  
  
"You're pale, are you ok?"  
  
_Did you know that being so nice to me, since the first day, always led me to despair?_  
  
I swallowed thickly, trying to get my thoughts back together and manage to smile, as much as possible. I might look weird, but well.  
  
"That's nothing. You know, just kind of tired..."  
  
He ran a hand on his face with a sigh. "I know what you mean."  
  
_No. You don't._  
  
Smile, Quatre. More. You can do it. Don't look at the ring around his finger, the one he's already playing with his other hand, turning it again and again with a genuine smile.  
  
"Mmmh, the wedding preparation, I guess?" I asked innocently.  
  
"Kind of, but thanks to Relena and the Peacecraft building, I have to admit that it's better than what we thought!"  
  
"She's a great friend."  
  
He nodded silently. That was still a habit of his, and for a second I was feeling as if I was in front of the teenager I met when we were younger, stuck into a war that we never wanted to take part of. But now, everythin was different. Only our rebel status was finally back to the 'normal', if I could say it like that. We all knew that everything would be difficult from now on.  
  
But soon, a ball of energy with auburn hair jumped on him, with huge and wet eyes looking at everything around.  
  
"Trowa! Did you see? Did you see?"  
  
He laughed softly, his arm circling her tiny shoulders. I envied her, I envied that flow of sweetness coming from him toward her. I envied the way she was able to steal his attention away from me with just a few words.  
  
"What is it, Cathy?" His soft voice wasn't for me. But it was, years ago, when we were alone in some OZ prison cell. When anxiety was overwhelming us, when we were wondering if we were going to die soon, if they were going to tortureus again and again or let us a few hours -even one woud have been enough, before the second round. We were alone, just the two of us. I could remember his tiny arm around my shoulders every time I was having a panic attack. I could remember his voice in my ear, his tone low enough not to be heard by the soldier on the over side of the door. I could remember his chest against my head when his hand was holding me tightly, my ear on his heart, focusing on his beating heart, his fingers lost somewhere in my hair. I could remember his fingertips playing gently with the top of my head until I calmed down. But I couldn't remember how many times I cried in those moments, ruining his dark pull-over.  
  
Cathy had the most crystalline laughter in the world. It was cute and at the same time awful to my ears.  
  
"Relena's present!" she was babbling with excitation. "That's for the baby!"  
  
I gulped in silence at the words and Trowa's smile grew even bigger.  
  
I _knew_ , even before they did.  
  
Trowa Barton and Catherine Bloom were together even before they both knew.  
  
I was the first to know their mutual feelings.  
  
Trowa Barton and Catherine Bloom were going to be parents soon.  
  
I knew that fact even before the day Catherine started to feel the usual signs of pregnant women, months ago. Now, her belly wasn't as flat as before from far.  
  
They were happy and they didn't even have to show it. I just _knew_.  
  
And every day, I hated myself for being still alive and having that capacity. I felt like a intruder walking through people's mind and feelings. The _Heart of Outterspace_ was much more like a curse. What if, someday, someone had to find out?  
  
What if Trowa happened to know?  
  
What if--  
  
"Oh, well, by the way, I still didn't tell you, you two!" I suddenly started. My voice sounded a little scratchy as I was cutting my own train of thoughts. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to talk in front of her. her.  
  
Cathy gave me a look, with her fizzy eyes, and I was able to see Trowa's reflection in that blue ocean. Clearing my throat, I tightened my grip around the glass in my hand and raised it up a little toward them.  
  
Trowa was looking at me, raising a eyebrow with curiosity. It wan't his style to look curious. It didn't fit him at all.  
  
She transformed him so much through years.  
  
I never managed to do such a thing.  
  
No matter what.  
  
"Congratulations."  
  
Their smiles should be the most amazing and beautiful thing. I knew that they were sincere. I didn't spare much more time with them, joining Duo who had grown quiet. There was still that lump, deep in my throat, and I tried to swallow it.  
  
"Still drunk?" I smiled at him.  
  
Duo shook his head a little, then opened his eyes wild at the feeling when the whole room turned around him. "Woah-- Yeah, still a lot, man." He laughed. Being with Duo was quite great. For some reason, the man was the only one I couldn't read the thoughts. Maybe his experience in life since childhood had built such a protection around him? I leaned against the wall by Duo's side, sighing despite myself. I could feel his eyes on me, the deep amethysts looking like they could scan the world inside me.  
  
"Hey, d'you r'member, Quat'?"  
  
I glanced at him, meeting his gaze. Duo was sometimes intense, serious. His elbow was resting on the narrow arm of the chair, his jaw on his closed fist as he was litterally _scanning_ me.  
  
"Boys don't cry," he murmured, so low that his lips had almost played the sentence without any sound. But I knew this sentence of his by heart now.  
  
"I wonder why you say this all the time," I chuckled.  
  
"Who knows!" And he waved with his hand like some drunk man he was at that moment, a dizzy smile on his lips.  
  
I laughed softly at his strange attitude -or rather I tried.  
  
But I couldn't.  
  
I wanted to cry with my face hidden in a dark pull-over, confined a prison cell that smelt musty.  
  
_I had always loved Trowa Barton._


End file.
